Help Me, I’m Uncomfortably Dry
Apparently my ancestors were a very moist people, living in a very moist land- perhaps traveling from rainy season to rainy season around the globe, or maybe they were actually aquatic mammals. Whenever the humidity around here drops below 99% (and from November 1st to June 1st it drops to about 0.4%) my skin cracks and bleeds. I’ve had 3 nosebleeds in the last 24 hours, and that’s not significantly above average. I gave up on chap-stick a long time ago and just keep a tub of petroleum jelly around, scooping out big double-fingered portions as needed, and enduring the “is this a tub of Vaseline with lip marks in it?” jokes. Today presented a new challenge, though- as I slept last night I was aware that my heel hurt, and I thought I had bruised it yesterday somehow. When I finally got up, I realized my entire heel had cracked open from the dryness and was bleeding. Excellent.
The irony is, I don’t like humidity, although I suppose no one does.
P.S.: My nose began spontaneously bleeding before I finished typing this.
The irony is, I don’t like humidity, although I suppose no one does.
P.S.: My nose began spontaneously bleeding before I finished typing this.
posted by Door Hinge at 9:14 AM
4 Comments:
Slow down with the cocaine, my friend, and the nosebleeds will miraculously ebb. As far as your crackly skin goes, Jergens works wonders.
My apartment gets pretty dry too. I ended up buying a humidifier because I get getting shocks each time I sat on the couch.
The humidifier is pretty good, it was only $20 or so. But, it's a needly little whore. You have to keep cleaning it to prevent it from getting moldy.
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