Gender Politix: He or She?

So what do you call someone who is a transsexual- he or she? The nicest solution would seem to be to call the person whatever they say they are- if they want to be a she, call them a she. However, there’s an obvious flaw in that. What if someone says they are the king of Antarctica, am I supposed to call them Your Majesty? Which wishful delusions are we supposed to support and which not? Niceness conflicts with accuracy. A man wearing lipstick and a skirt is not a woman. A man wearing lipstick and a skirt and announcing that he is a woman is still not a woman. It is not the idea of gender-reassignment I have a problem with, just the feeling that I am being forced to use inaccurate terms. I saw a show recently in which a young person was surgically altered from male to female, and all the people around him forced the word “she” into the conversation every which way possible- She’s a big girl, she’ll do well in surgery, won’t she? It sounded to me like an attempt to say something so often that people start to believe it- propaganda, in other words.
But then again, if a man in a skirt is a man, what’s a man in a skirt with implanted breasts, no penis or testicles, and a surgically sculpted vulva?
A common genderless pronoun would help- as you can see I improperly but effectively used “they” at the beginning of the post- but it really only hides the problem. And I reject the idea that gender is a societal construct that doesn’t really exist and therefore needs no words to describe it- yes there are people born with chromosomes mixed up in such a way that they are neither male nor female; this no more invalidates the other 6 billion people’s gender than people who’s mixed up chromosomes result in them having no arms invalidates the concept of arms.